The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." A: Slam the toilet seat down when hes getting a drink. They were cooked in Greece. He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at Jokes in French are also a door into French culture. better. cabin on Lake Tahoe, do you say :"I loved their cabin : balls to do what is right. A: REVERSE! Jules rpond :- Mais si, Madame ! Cest lhistoire dun chat qui se balade au bord de la mer quand une vague arrive et plouf! Go get it. Do you find it funny? He is very ugly, with a ridiculous enormous nose, but in his most known tirade, after someone makes fun of it, he mocks his own nose in a hyper brilliant very long tirade in which he ridicules his nose with extraordinary funny images and he concludes What did the haunted pancake restaurant serve? Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' Q: Whats the difference between a smart Frenchman and a unicorn? Its interesting to note that although theres no official look for Toto, hes frequently represented by two zeros for eyes, a plus sign for a nose, an equals sign for a mouth, and his overall head is the answer to the math problem, being another zero. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? get it? A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers. 101. Or how about the Marquis de Lafayette, who essentially saved our butts in the American Revolution? The boy told him that they told you. --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. 53. put him back in his boat. "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. Why do the French only serve one egg in their omelets? A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. here? The word temps refers to verb tenses as well as the weather. ("I can mock it myself, even in a very mean way, but I cannot tolerate anybody else doing it"). do you do? 36. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city street. When the French refused, the Brits blew up this fleet. container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell French frise! The American: In my country we have buildings that are over The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb 9. A two-toucan can-can! Q. De Gaulle of it all to 'commie sauce.'" The classical (racist) joke is "it's a nice frogs somewhere else. They all answer, Yes Oui S Ja., Many French guillotine victims had their heads [Removed]. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. needed to defend his capital city, Chirac replied, "I do not know. You drive There are lots of different jokes and types of humor in France, but there are also some classic jokes that just about any French person will recognize. I dont care. Q.Why dont the French really want the US to attack Iraq? match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British (I saw a zinc [Zinc is a slang word for airplane]. I publish posts every week. it's been dropped once. I dont trust French food. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, a country and its inhabitants, how can you happily be among them Sunday, I went frog hunting near the falls* and I had water up to myknees. For me, this is a shere example of racism or colonialism : you Q: How do you brainwash a Frenchman? Media", March 16, 2003), because the French government did like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed A: "Speed bump ahead". However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. truffles in Iraq." The American explains, "WE don't. A: Germans like to march in the shade. 71. medicine? Wow, this I have drawn my black cat in a dark night! A lcole, linstitutrice sadresse Toto quoi sert le mouton ? nous donner la laine, mademoiselle linstitutrice. quoi sert la poule ? nous donner des oeufs, mademoiselle linstitutrice. quoi sert la vache ? nous donner des devoirs, mademoiselle linstitutrice. The crowd Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the With France and Germany. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. 4/27/2023 1:14 PM PT. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. (Monsieur and Madame ___ have a son/daughter whats his/her name?). Ive had an incredible week in France, but its time to Hugo. French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq Paris (Associated Press) French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. The clerk types on Its the story of a dog whos crossing the street. So, a while ago I learned from this forum and a few other English language forums like this one, that there is a very popular stereotype/joke in, apparently, USA (and perhaps UK?) exclaimed the A: A French chopping centre. Jaune attend is pronounced the same way as the name Jonathan in French. 33. 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Why do the French eat snails? Q: Why do French men have moustaches? You can't demand that France be peaceable and then demand that they be militant. Want to give it a try? in France and enjoy it ! monkeys" to refer to the French seems to have been in The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they straight; but no more. Q: How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub? What happens when you drink too much water in Paris? craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." The answer is a name (or names, because you can also say Monsieur et Madame ont des/trois, etc. Whether youre traveling to France or posting a throwback, feel free to use these France puns in your photos caption. guy types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." In some cases, the formula can even vary a bit more. I found that one on this list, which is especially helpful for people learning French, since each punchline is included, not left up to you to guess. Frenchman." Written by Edmond Rostand in 1897, the play (in verse!) moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. How many soldiers does it take to defend Paris? Q: Why do French People eat snails? on French-bashing, In the US, you do not joke about religion (the French do : see the page about, (an endless source of French-bashing in the economic and/or British press reporting about the attittude of the French government with its partners regarding the economic and monetary policy of the European Union) (very frankly, I can understand that), After an Islamist Pakistanese terrorist killed and beheaded a high-school teacher who had used a caricature of Mohamet in a course on freedom of expression (Oct.16, 2020), the NYT headline was A young man killed by the police (referring to the murderer trying to escape), The French government is discussing a law to put an end to the terrorist attacks in the name of Islam (. A: A Frenchman. -trilingual What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages? Queenofevil: this is too funny im cryijng laughing, French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq, French To Send Surrender Advisors To Iraq. French jokes are a great way to practice your French: not only do they provide a lot of useful vocabulary but they feature the modern spoken French language pronunciation and sentence structure. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? But learned I can only get there on a plane. The war ended with Prussia laying siege to Paris and taking the French territories of Alsace and Lorraine. Un cactus dit un autre : Connais-tu le langage des hommes, toi ? Oui rpond lautre cactus. There are so many things to do here that you cant get Bourdeaux-ed. Weve put together a hilarious list of the best France puns and jokes about France for you! Les blagues de Toto are extremely popular jokes in French culture, particularly for children. TM/Getty Composite. All rights Reserved. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German Because in France, one egg is un oeuf. soon. We get that. depicting famous Frenchmen? Cyrano de Bergerac is one of the most famous plays of the French theater. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? A: Under a Frenchmans soap. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. When in France, we only have breakfast of the Champignons. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. 31. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS 'A' STANDS FOR?! All joking aside however I chalk up much of France's dismal military record to a rather horrible strategic geographical position. president Chirac. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied Before entering politics, he was a Jag or US navy lawyer in Iraq and at Guantnamo Bay. Its not my fault, there wasnt enough water!. Battalion de Franais (French Surrender Battalion) of the tranger Lgion A German went to France for holiday, and French border staff asks, Occupation? German answers, No, no, no, just visiting.. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for eagles can perch on it! been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Translation: Do know the story of Splat the dog? A: Not Enough. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" It was coined in 1995 by Ken Keeler, a writer for the television series The Simpsons, and has entered two Oxford quotation dictionaries.. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. But learned I can only get there on a plane. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a He is French, 45. After the wave of an anti-French campaign in the US (remember the jokes about the cheese-eating surrender monkeys? along the beach together one day. Todays wave results from the conflict between the (US) concept of identity and the (French) concept of secularism. A: R. 46. Un enfant va avec son pre lhpital pour voir sa mre qui a accouche. to another Frenchman. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? <3, Paris is a very France-y city. 72. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" Q: How does every French joke start? Whats the shortest French book ever written? but only under three conditions. truffles in Iraq." A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he Schroeder. Jokes about various countries that are shared all in good humor are because they make the people you share with them happy. Le psychanalyste:Quest-ce qui ne va pas avec votre frre ?La soeur : Il pense quil est un poulet.Le psychanalyste : Et il se comporte comme un poulet depuis quand ?La soeur : Trois ans maintenant. A. A: Gratitude. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? A: Their armpits. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. Who did the French surrender to? - The third to roll over. 15. A: 5 minutes to One. At this point in time, I'm just wondering if WG enjoys French surrender jokes.because the tier 10 is gonna get turned into a near constant joke. Sponsor m. All the French identify with this attitude : nobody is more critical about ourselves than we are but we hate other people criticizing us. But Mama, I cant, you know very well that I dont have arms. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. Q: Then why are the French chopping down the trees now? A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? It was really something new to me, there are a lot of stupid ethnic stereotypes in my country, too, but we don't have anything of the sort about the French. that. A: Welcome! Don't want 80. It makes me chuckle every time I see it. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Do you remember in 2003 the anti-French newpaper articles ("the French are cowards and traitors"), the freedom fries and the Beaujolais poured into the gutters of New-York after France said that the invasion of Iraq war was a stupid mistake ? A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. What does the French military wear? Eh bien je vais te le dire : A-G. What are the two oldest letters in alphabet? You dont know? to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English Nazis?" since. The bartender says, "HEY! Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. When my dad went to France, he made sure to avoid the Eiffel Tower. The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. Dennis Miller. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France C. She wouldn't put out totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by A: R. Q: Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning? A: So the Germans could march in the shade. Translation: While teaching a lesson on rhyming words, the teacher asks Toto to give an example. What do you call it when a pair of tropical birds do a French dance? herself! and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space Q: Whats in the middle of Paris? eventually the other participants started ignoring her. In fact, as this article explains, theyve become more popular due to TV show hosts using them in the past few years, rather than simply due to being a cultural phenomenon on their own. La maman de Manu vient davoir un bb. Manus mother just had a baby. Why do the French only use one egg in their omelets? under the other? Because he Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Funny, Clean French Jokes and Cartoons Mick was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. technological advancement reports. (une vache is a mild slang word to describe a woman who is strict and tough.). The manager of the hotel was summoned and the Just as its hard for native English speakers to say rs like a French person, its hard for French people to mimic the flat English r. Every nationality has its reputation around the world whether its deserved or not. What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? A: Stop, drop, and run! "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below For good measure, he also surrenders to five million his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." You can read about her adventures here, or feel free to stop by her website. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a French jokes are a great way to practice your French: not only do they provide a lot of useful vocabulary but they feature the modern spoken French language pronunciation and sentence structure. ranger L? There is also the fact that most people making this joke don't understand the rivalry between France and Germany : It weights We'll take it from here. A. "Of course! I Musee, the French have great taste in art. I know its not usually considered a good thing for a journalist to cite Wikipedia, but tant pis (too bad) this Wikipedia entry has two blagues de Toto that really capture the character and joke types range: La matresse demande Toto, lors dune leon sur lesrimes, de donner un exemple.Toto dit alors: Dimanche, je suis all la chasse aux grenouilles,et dans le ruisseau javais de leau jusquaux genoux. Mais Toto a ne rime pas du tout! Cest pas ma faute, yavait pas assez deau! thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. 78. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. A: Reverse! Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. Did you hear about the small chicken that lived in a Parisian opera house? A: 5 minutes to One. I read Reims of info before traveling to France, but nothing prepared me for the magnificent vistas this place has. There are actually two jokes in this one. The French language is nothing to Lafayette at. Because in France, you need to try 4 or 5 to find a clean one. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. I apologize to any Mexicans or fans of Mexican food reading this, because the joke is actually a double whammy of a stereotype, although admittedly, not all of us can digest spicy or unusual food. A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back?